I Have Read Of A Place Where Humans Do Battle In A Ring Of Jell-O

Sam... encounters an alien on an alien planet... go figure. He is at once drawn in by the black widow's spell and follows her back to Earth to perve on her lack of phone messages and sleepwear. Thinking she's probably lost her marbles, the SGC and all types of nasty secret government types bug Sam's house. Regardless Sam and Orlin do the intergalactic mind!jiggy. Jack and Teal'c inadvertently interrupt her extraterrestrial interludes with pizza and Star Wars but end up indulging in one of Earth's richest cultural offerings, dragging Daniel along with them. The NID, sneaky bastards that they are want Orlin for themselves (desperate for alien nooky, surely) and surround Sam's house. Orlin builds a mini!gate from a toaster (leading one to believe that MacGyver was part Ancient) and escapes back to the planet to prevent Reynolds from going BOOM!

01020304

05060708

09101112

13141516

17181920

21222324

5x03 Ascension