Well, If You'd Like, I'll Negotiate This Treaty With Your Mother

SG-1 spend the night chillin', watching the tal'pak'rye. The next day they want to have the sleepover at their place, but the damn kids run off and Jack has to go find them, meanwhile the gate gets smooshed. So, Jack lives with the natives and becomes closer friends, eating crusty bread and sleeping under tables etc. Back home Daniel, Sam and Teal'c angst and build more phallic machinery because the franchise clearly doesn't have enough. After three months Jack gets down at the party and afterwards down with Laira as she wants him to be her baby daddy...

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3x17 A Hundred Days

I Have No Friends. In The Woods Or Otherwise...

SG-1 send a probe and then themselves through the gate to Red Rock Quarry Bedrosia where the folks believe a hippie Goa'uld child created them with large chins and vinyl military garb. Once there a kerfuffle is had and Jack, Sam & Daniel are captured and the whole 'on your knees and with a sarcastic remark thrown in for free' dealy is played out. Meanwhile Teal'c is blinded by science with a laser gun thingie and hides in a cave where he indulges in a little symbiote spelunking. The rest of the team give an impromptu wormhole physics lesson to the baddies who clearly have a kink for cages and electricity, but Teal'c and his pal Nyan cat come to the rescue and they're off home where they can stretch their legs and Teal'c can get some Clearasil...

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3x19 New Ground